I get it now. I get why I always run away from my calling.

I get why I can never seem to stay focused and disciplined for too long. I get why following different sources of light can be more exciting and appealing than paying attention to the light that is already right inside me.

This past weekend, I had to learn that it is not possible to fully serve the world if there’s a part of us that is hiding for whatever reason(s) (e.g., because we’re insecure, not ready, don’t like attention, feel uncomfortable w/ ‘self-promotion,’  etc.).

There’s real vulnerability involved in sharing an important part of us and going all in on something. When we have a project, an endeavor, a mission, a whatever that is so deeply integrated into who we are, it’s scary to put our stuff (aka ourselves) out there and not feel exposed.

I am 100% more comfortable talking about my thoughts and feelings than I am talking publicly about my passion project (Lessons for Life) sometimes, which has been really interesting for me to observe. Is it because I think my thoughts and feelings are just my thoughts and feelings (which are all temporary…) whereas Lessons for Life is a part of my Soul?

Over the weekend, I learned from Marianne Williamson that “We’re not the water, we’re the faucet.” I understand now that LFL is NOT me and that I am the faucet. The life lessons I’ve collected and will continue to collect make up the water and it’s up to me to let the water flow without interruption so that it can reach more people to help more people, if that makes any sense at all.

In the past, I ran away from my calling because I felt like I wasn’t ready, and I was right. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t mature enough and I didn’t have the perspective, depth, accumulated life experiences or space to understand life, really.

Now that I’m older and I find myself running (or flying) away from my calling, I know I’m making what are ultimately just excuses for myself. It would be so easy for me to say that what I’m afraid of is failure, because that’s what most people say when they’re afraid. However, I know myself well enough to know that I’m not afraid of failure. I LOVE taking risks. I LOVE embracing the unknown (usually). The thrill and wonder excites me, so long as I can keep other people at a distance and not really be deeply seen.

So now,  I understand that what I’m really afraid of is Myself. If I see and sit with myself on an even deeper level, I can’t ignore myself. If I don’t ignore myself, I can’t turn my attention away from the light that is buried within me. Rather than be attracted to this internal light, I have been dancing around it and flying away to distractions and external sources of light. It’s been somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy that I’ve been calling myself a “Peter Pan” (someone who flies from one thing to another and doesn’t want to commit) because of my E/INFP personality type.

In 2018 and beyond, it’s time for me to rise to the occasion and grow up. I’m lucky that I even know what my calling is.

My key takeaway: When we run away from our calling, we run away from ourselves.



PS. I finally understand this quote by Marianne Williamson. Thanks Marianne.



Admiring the strangers sitting next to me at Starbucks

I’m admiring the strangers sitting next to me at Starbucks.
They’re having an actual conversation, about difficult life circumstances, including the effects of both childhood and adulthood trauma.
They’re not blaming anybody for their pain, resentment or poor choices, including their neglectful parents or abusive exes.
They’re reflecting, analyzing the topics as objectively as possible, knowledge-sharing and coming up with healthy solutions together.
There’s nothing but an exchange of kindness and support between the two friends and it’s so refreshing to hear. It’s inspiring actually, because witnessing their humanity reminds me of my own humanity, and the humanity of everyone around me.
One reminder/takeaway:
Healing requires full honesty. Honesty produces freedom. Freedom unleashes true joy. These steps cannot be skipped, sorry.
Here’s another one:
Without vulnerability and real talk, we can’t connect.
If we can’t connect, we feel disconnected.
If we feel disconnected, we feel alone.
But we are not alone, if we can open up a bit to the right people. They’re out there, craving the same connection too.
Connection is what heals. The riskiest thing we can do in life is not attempt to connect at all.
I’m sending the ladies a wave of love and well-wishes from where I’m sitting.

Mamba Mentality

So amazing. This is a message from Kobe Bryant to Gordon Hayward, who suffered a very, very nasty ankle injury last night during the Celtics’ NBA Season Opener vs. the Cavs. Hope this inspires some of you who need some motivation or are going through some challenging times right now. Stay resilient.

Source: Yahoo Sports

A message from Kobe to Gordon:

Be sad. Be mad. Be frustrated. Scream. Cry. Sulk. When you wake up you will think it was just a nightmare only to realize it’s all too real. You will be angry and wish for the day back, the game back THAT play back. But reality gives nothing back and nor should you. Time to move on and focus on doing everything in your power to prepare for surgery, ask all the questions to be sure you understand fully the procedure so that you may visualize it in your subconscious while being operated on and better the chance of it’s success. Then focus on the recovery process day by day by day. It’s a long journey but if you focus on the mini milestones along the way you will find beauty in the struggle of doing simple things that prior to this injury were taken for granted. This will also mean that when you return you will have a new perspective. You will be so appreciative of being able to stand, walk, run that you will train harder than you ever have. You see the belief within you grow with each mini milestone and you will come back a better player for it. Best of luck to you on this journey my brother #mambamentality always.

This is really a message for all of us. Our life circumstances is bound to get tough sometimes. Ride through it. Don’t diminish the shock or the pain or the experience. Hang in there. You will be better and stronger (sometimes in some TBD way) because of it.


How Do I: Common Questions to Becoming a Better Human

How do I…

  • practice self-care
  • release anger
  • heal myself
  • forgive myself
  • forgive others
  • stop judgment
  • attain peace
  • be in alignment
  • serve others
  • better relate with others
  • inch closer to an enlightened state

The answer doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s actually quite simple: Just Love.

The question I believe many of us are asking isn’t actually “how do I do or accomplish (any of the things above)?” If we were to dig deeper, it’s actually “how do I better Love?”

Now this is where it gets interesting because everyone has ‘different’ interpretations of Love. I would argue that a large number of us aren’t even sure what Love is or what it looks like in practice. I don’t blame us. Society is clueless about love. Look at mainstream music, for instance. Love isn’t attachment, it’s not a feeling, it’s definitely not infatuation or codependency.

It’s a function of connection and knowing. It’s already deeply inside us, because we are it.

Love is the Jesus state, or the Buddha state. And that, my friends, is what it means to live… wisely.

My priorities lately

  • Seeking truth
  • Clarifying purpose
  • Aligning inner and outer worlds
  • Navigating through human world
  • Unlearning
  • Doing my best to choose Love over Fear

I’m totally getting my butt kicked. Even though I have some days where I question the path I’ve chosen to be on, there’s no place I’d rather be than where I currently am.

If you’re on your own spiritual journey, remember to keep on going when things get confusing, tricky or tough. Remember that you’re never, ever alone.

It’s not a zero-sum game

Seeing others win – and achieve their own personal milestones – should inspire us, not make us feel inadequate in any way.

My reaction to the Charlottesville rally

I’ve been pretty down since the violent and deadly white supremacy rally in Charlottesville.

However, I’ve been thinking back to the hundreds of random people I met around the country back in summer of 2015.

I’ve been thinking back to how scared I was to roam through unfamiliar cities and towns as a lone young Asian American woman.

There were many times where I had to sit with my fears of being preyed upon because of the media reports, stereotypes, warnings and rumors that influenced my worldview.

And then I remembered all the times I felt love and felt loved. People were so friendly. They were curious and open-minded. They wanted to share what was inside their hearts. All I had to do was take the initiative and genuinely say hello. And that was what I did.

So today, I am reminded that there is soooo much more that is right with America than what is wrong with America. And if you’re able to read this, you ARE what is right with our country. Remember that.

Please do not hold back. Please do not become discouraged. Please do not think that your voice, your social media posts, your phone calls, your small donations, etc. do not matter. Because they do.

So long as we are not indifferent, complacent or in denial of the full extent of the situation at hand, we will get through these dark times together and come out better and stronger.

Why? Because we are light. We are Love. We are a part of this mighty Universe, connected to a higher power. Fear cannot defeat Love, come on now.

I believe in us!!!!!

A Symbolic Dollar – It’s not about the money (DUH)

Taylor Swift. Bravo. 👏👏👏👏👏

Ladies, please do not be afraid to stand up for yourself when men believe they are entitled to violate you or unlawfully push your boundaries in any way, especially in a professional setting.

It’s much easier said than done, I know, but your future self will thank you so much for it.